Ewan's Corner

• On behalf of my fellow males I’d like to say:

  …shit

• Polygamy? Most man can hardly tolerate one wife!
  • You think tolerating multiple wives is difficult, try more than one mother in law!
• No you wouldn’t, because you can only have sex so many times in a given day. The rest of the day you’d have to put up with female whining — which is bad enough when it’s just coming from one of them.
  • Two words: Coolidge Effect
• women are complex, emotional creatures who need a whole lot of care and feeding
  • Oh come on, your wife isn’t that fat.
• On the behalf of my fellow males I’d like to say:
  
  …wait a minute, that dress is for sale? brb

• Finally an excuse for my weak body, small penis and my interest for tea. And sadly my limited interest for breasts.
  • You need an excuse for being British?
  • Hey, the British are completely obsessed with breasts (that’s why The Sun sells so many copies a day). As for the other bits, it’s 51 degrees N and the central heating is dodgy, so lack of exercise, shrinkage of extremities and interest in hot drinks are natural.
• Not only is it destroying our masculinity, but it’s making my nails really dirty and I’ve just had them done :(
• I can drink longer, fight harder, shout louder and piss further than any other man in the Yukon, and anyone who doesn’t believe me can step outside!
  • “He’s a Lumberjack and he’s OK…”
• Is one of those chemicals…. named Oprah?
• What this really means is that us old guys have bigger dicks than you nelly boys. Now get off my lawn, pansy.

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