Posts Tagged kids
Blonde maniac
Jun 27
Two birthday parties – thumbs up to puppet shows, Adrian the magician and winter sunshine.
Nonviolence in Parenting
Feb 10
Dr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and founder of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence, in his June 9 lecture at the University of Puerto Rico, shared the following story as an example of nonviolence in parenting:
“I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute my grandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa, in the middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and had no neighbors, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to going to town to visit friends or go to the movies. One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-day conference, and I jumped at the chance.
Since I was going to town, my mother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all day in town, my father asked me to take care of several pending chores, such as getting the car serviced. When I dropped my father off that morning, he said, ‘I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m., and we will go home together.’
After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight to the nearest movie theater. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-feature that I forgot the time. It was 5:30 before I remembered. By the time I ran to the garage and got the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me, it was almost 6:00.
He anxiously asked me, ‘Why are you late?’ I was so ashamed of telling him I was watching a John Wayne western movie that I said, ‘The car wasn’t ready, so I had to wait,’ not realizing that he had already called the garage.
When he caught me in the lie, he said: ‘There’s something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn’t give you the confidence to tell me the truth. In order to figure out where I went wrong with you, I’m going to walk the walk home 18 miles and think about it.’
So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in the dark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads. I couldn’t leave him, so for five-and-a-half hours I drove behind him, watching my father go through this agony for a stupid lie that I uttered. I decided then and there that I was never going to lie again.
I often think about that episode and wonder, if he had punished me the way we punish our children, whether I would have learned a lesson at all. I don’t think so. I would have suffered the punishment and gone on doing the same thing. But this single nonviolent action was so powerful that it is still as if it happened yesterday. That is the power of nonviolence.”
(found here)
Snapshot, 2008
Jan 2
2008 was a huge year for my family and I. Here goes recording some of the best parts, and a snapshot of my life as it stands at the start of 2009.
My third child and first daughter, Hannah Grace McPhail, was born on September 11th – a little angel. We are now a family of 5 – still seems surreal at times, but always wonderful. My wife proved herself stronger and braver than I could ever have imagined – Hannah was born at home, without the use of drugs or any medical intervention. Best birth experience by far (says he who did none of the real work) and we are relaxed and confident – more so than with the boys.
I made the work transition to pointy haired software development manager in a new team, and apart from occasional attacks of impostor syndrome (a good thing) I am loving the people and the work. I am more grateful than ever to love what I do and do what I love as part of a brilliant team – especially in the current uncertain economic climate. I also got a 5 year watch / recognition gift from Derivco (actually 7 years in October) – initially I thought the whole thing was terribly corny and old fashioned but the sentiment was right and honest, and it just reminded me – again – how lucky I am to work at such a genuine company.
My Family
I read over 700 bed-time stories in 2008 (not unique – some I can quote
verbatim). Keeping the work/home boundary intact has been tough
at times, but I think I’ve done a pretty good job. Watching the boys
play games together is wonderful, with mad laughter filling the house and your soul.
Clair: My lovely wife remains my hero and best friend. A home birth was a wonderful experience for us as a family, and she has surprised me (both of us I think) with her strength and patience in looking after all of us – 3 boys and a breast-feeding baby girl. I’m not sure what I did to deserve the kind of wife who wants to be a “home executive”, is a wonderful mother 24/7, cooks Lindt Brownies in her spare time, changes her own tires and looks great doing it – but Lord am I grateful.
Caleb: My eldest little man, my sensitive explorer thinker and a dreamer like his dad. At 4 he is full of questions about everything from babies to death and he dreams of flying a spaceship to Mars. He has mastered the PC mouse and the game of Peggle, his heroes are Lightning McQueen and Jimmy Neutron, and he would far rather be indoors watching Wall-E than outside playing in the sun. His mind never stops, he has the most amazing dreams, and he is busy with a growing social circle. He loves his baby sister and has trouble leaving her alone sometimes :-)
Daniel: My little (he prefers “medium” since Hannah arrived) 2 year old is kind and sweet and tough and cute. He would rather be outdoors digging a hole or riding his bike than indoors, and he charms everyone with his smile and infectious laughter. He speaks wonderfully, and is busy swapping nappies for undies – he adores his older brother. He loves to help us with his sister, and is fascinated by motorbikes and airplanes. His imagination is exploding, and like a typical 2 year old is pushing boundaries wherever he can. Like his brother he adores books and is showing the same incredible memory, quoting whole stories verbatim (and harassing me if I leave out a single word).
Hannah: My little angel. She is a calm, relaxed and happy baby – at least in part due to her wonderful birth experience, confident parents and probably being a girl helps :-) She sleeps almost through the night, only cries when she has a valid reason and stops immediately when you fix the problem. She smiles often and laughs occasionally – wonderful moments. She is full of chirps and gurgles and squeaks. She loves her brothers and happily falls asleep on my knee in front of the computer.
Hannah Grace McPhail arrives
Sep 12
Welcome my baby girl!
Hannah Grace McPhail arrived this morning – September 11th 2008 – at 04h45 weighing 3.3kgs and scoring a 10/10 Apgar just like her brothers. Clair is my hero, and both Hannah and Mom are beautiful and wonderful :-)
Not the most auspicious date to be born (10/09/08 would have been better :-) but apart from the obvious unfortunate events in 2001 it’s an interesting day:
- 1940 – George Stibitz pioneers the first remote operation of a computer.
- 1961 – Formation of the World Wildlife Fund.
- 1998 – Opening ceremony for the 1998 Commonwealth Games in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Malaysia was the first Asian country to host the games.
And two Astronaut birthdays :-)
- 1935 – Gherman Titov, second man in space (d. 2000)
- 1937 – Robert Crippen, American astronaut
A home birth was a wonderful experience – Clair and I are now certified water / home-birth evangelists. Our midwife and her assistant were the most amazingly capable and reassuring people, arriving in the early hours of the morning with mountains of equipment, smiles and encouragement. A home birth makes you realise how unnecessarily “medical” and clinical a hospital birth can be – the boys didn’t even leave the house, they slept through the whole thing and woke up to a new baby sister. The actual delivery was over in minutes and the easiest delivery by far (says he who didn’t have to do the pushing :-)
I am in awe of my wonderful wife who is far stronger than I am. Thank you my Clair for our third miracle and first baby daughter.
Enough waffle – Hannah’s first photos are here. I’m off to catch up some sleep.
Obligatory Richard Stallman quote:
“It doesn’t take special talents to reproduce — even plants can do it. On the other hand, contributing to a program like Emacs takes real skill. That is really something to be proud of.
It helps more people, too.”
Hannah Grace McPhail
Jun 7
Hannah Grace McPhail waving hello, 4th June 2008. Less than 100 days to go before I can meet you properly my little daughter.
New Year New Excitement
Jan 5
Dad2 is about to make way for Dad3 :-)
“Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid.” ~Arabic Proverb
We are now accepting name nominations. As always in this family odds heavily favour a boy… but only God knows at this point. What a wonderfully blessed and happy way to kick off 2008 :-)
Still on leave and back home after a wonderful camping holiday (where the Berg air is apparently really good for you ;-), I’ve been spending more time than ever pondering happiness (including catching up on the TED “what makes us happy?” theme sessions – Daniel Goleman’s “why arent we all good samaritans” was particularly thought provoking).
No matter what else makes me happy, my family is a huge and essential part of it – and if I have a resolution this year, it would probably be to better appreciate my family and the precious time I spend with them.
Something to remember
Dec 3
The look on Caleb’s face last night when he saw his first Glowstick light up last night at bedtime. A mixture of awe and delight and wonder – I hope I never forget his expression.
We’re going camping in December, and a glowstick is my solution to a safe camping-friendly nightlight for the kids (the fact that I love them has nothing to do with it :-)
And…
Me: Sneezing
Caleb (walking past at the time): “Bless you my son”
Happy 1st birthday my little Daniel Ben McPhail.
I’m sorry I don’t post as often about you as I did for your brother, but then I have less time these days ;-)
You are so very different from your brother – you are happier, lazier relaxed and far more patient, and you haven’t reached the “terrible twos” yet. I can hardly believe I’m the father of a 1-year old and a nearly 3-year old, the two most wonderful little people in my life.
I don’t ever want to forget:
- Seeing you yawn in an ultrasound scan on March 2nd 2006.
- Your birth at 21h45 on April 12th 2006 – they say the second birth is easier for both parents (and I for one was far less nervous) and it may have been if your mother’s anaesthetic hasn’t started to wear off mid-way through. You took your time, which we should have seen as a sign of things to come…
- How your brother cried when he saw the remains of your umbilical cord and kept crying “ow ow take it off! take it off!”
- How you flap your arms and bounce up and down when excited - wumping and flapping
- Your grins and laughs of pure uncomplicated happiness and joy, which you so freely hand out to everyone
- How you wake up in such a wonderful mood
- How you have started to stand up for yourself, growling at Caleb when steals (yet another) of your toys.
- Your patience and tenacity when figuring something out or trying something new – we call you Tenacious D
- na na na and ma ma ma and da da da
- 3 little teeth (aka Nipple Grippers). Your poor mom.
- How you love to listen to old-style (Metallica etc) rock music on the way back home after dropping your brother off at school. Thanks Radio 2000.
- How you are an aquatic baby, and love to watch water and sit in the bath while it fills up (and cry when you are taken out). Unlike your brother, you don’t very much mind getting water in your eyes.
- Your rapidly improving lurch / crawl thing – you had us worried, only learning to crawl relatively recently – but now you’re unstoppable
- How you spin round and taking off so fast you fall over when i mock-chase you
- How you point at interesting things and grunt “uh! uh!”
- How you love fruit, especially biltong and mango. Your vegetarian fans are hurt.
- How you hate it when I use the computer instead of interacting with you
- How you love it when I play ”where’s the baby” with you, and how now you sometimes play the game with me.
Happy birthday my little son, I love you so much more than words can ever express. Cheesy, but true.
Key in the door, the moment I’ve been longing for
Before my bag hit the floor
My adorable children rush up screaming for a kiss
And a story they’re a gift to this world
My only claim to glory
I surely never knew sweeter days
Blows my mind like munitions
I’m amazed -Faithless, “Bombs”
More Kid Logic
Jan 9
*phone rings at work*
Clair: Caleb wants to speak to you
Me: ok
Caleb: Daddy, I put the stripey toy up my nose!
Me: Why did you do that??
Caleb: So we can go to the doctor. You will come home now Daddy?
